The Top 9 Ways to Prepare for the Millennium Bug

9. Sell stock in Microsoft and AOL, invest everything in shotguns and bottled water.

8. Move computer’s clock ahead now to test for co^^^NO CARRIER

7. Start writing an exquisitely obscene job-resignation letter.

6. Stockpile semen to repopulate Earth in case post-Apocalypse chicks still won’t have intimate relationship with you.

5. Open checking accounts in dozens of different banks with no more than $20 in each, and wait for a windfall.

4. Convert to Judaism, then begin worrying about the Y10K bug.

3. Party like its 1899

2. Discard toasters made before 1995 because nobody likes bread toasted for 2 minutes and 100 years.

1. Send Schwarzenegger back in time to bitch slap those lazy COBOL engineers.

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]

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