The Top 15 Things Men Don’t Know About Women’s Restrooms

15> Actually, more wall boogers.

14> Nearly impossible to see the genitalia of the woman peeing next to you.

13> *Their* hand dryers run for exactly the right amount of time.

12> Special mist agent in ventilation reinforces immunity to fart jokes and keeps them believing that things like scrapbooks, fashion magazines and foreplay are great ideas.

11> Those built in electronic appliances only *look* like hair dryers.

10> They have closed circuit TV and live action commentary from the camera poised over the urinals in the men’s room.

9> Domestic beers and rail drinks are 2-for-1, all the time.

8> Women receive bonus miles with each purchase from the tampon dispenser.

7> Hot and cold running boy toys — why do you *think* we take so long?

6> Spontaneous lesbian orgies break out only about half as much as guys tend to think.

5> The towel boys attired as gladiators, not Egyptian slave boys.

4> They have sculpted Italian marble commodes, 24-karat gold fixtures and ultra-premium, ultra-soft toilet paper. Either that or less urine on the floor.

3> Women’s restrooms remain virtually odor free because any unpleasant odors are piped directly into the men’s room next door.

2> We get naked, wrestle playfully in the mud bath, play keep-away with the soap in the shower, towel-dry each other, reapply makeup and discuss the size of your male genital organ. Getting back into our damned pantyhose is what takes so long, though.

1> Restrooms?!? Men don’t know anything about WOMEN!!

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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]