The Top 15 Macho Ways to Express a Break-up

15> She opened up a can of industrial strength whoop-heart. 14> She keyed the hood on my Corvette of love. 13> She roadkilled my heart on the grille-work of disdain. 12> Even my dual-range Sawzall 6527-21 couldn’t cut through her carbon-steel heart. 11> When her personality had its last tune-up, whoever did it set her carburetor’s bitch mixture waaaaay too rich. 10> I gave her three sets of 10 reps of affection curls. She gave me squat. 9> I tapped her love keg and just got foam. 8> Allegations that we were together for life were apparently intimate relationshiped up by the British Defense Secretary. 7> The rust of rejection finally overcame the duct tape of desire. 6> She fried up a sizzlin’ slab o’ see ya later. 5> I thought I’d retained possession of her love, but upon further review that call was overturned. 4> I’ve relocated from Hummerville to Bummertown. 3> She got me a front-row ticket to WWF Dumpamania: Emotional Smackdown. 2> Our love car Earnhardted. 1> She called me off the mound and brought in the battery-powered reliever. [ The Top 5 List ] [ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]