One Chicken, One Road, Many Reasons
Why did the chicken cross the road?
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever
think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying intimate relationshipual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the
road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
BILL CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, did not have intimate relationshipual relations with
Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.
L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask
Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.