One Chicken, One Road, Many Reasons

Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it
take.

OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha)
only that it would be a martyr.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution
strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model
(PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,
capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology
in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best
chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their
personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering
and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a
park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core
values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken
‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,