The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize the money was really yours in the first place.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone: (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration: (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very, high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these really bad vibes, right? and then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a totally serious bummer.
Decaflon: (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit: (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug: (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor: (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
The Pick of the literature: (phrase)
Ignoranus: A person who’s a stupid asshole.
and mine is
Prick of the litter: (phrase) The worst of a group of Ignoranuses