New Computer Viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC Sharon Stone virus Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it’s there. Monica Lewinsky virus Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic virus Makes your whole computer go down Disney virus Everything in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson virus Quits after one byte Prozac virus Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care Lorena Bobbit virus Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy Tim Allen virus Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact Woody Allen virus Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card Saddam Hussein virus Won’t let you into any of your programs Tonya Harding virus Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons Spice Girl virus Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop AT&T virus Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting Martha Stewart virus Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop Ronald Reagan virus Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored Sony Bono virus Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of no where Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them George Michaels virus Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup Oprah Winfrey virus Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB Joey Buttafuoco virus Only attacks minor files MCI virus Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus Arnold Schwarzenegger virus Terminates and stays resident – It’ll be back! X-files virus All your Icons start shape shifting