Holy Mother

A recent Irish League match between Newry and Larne, the visitors were awarded
a penalty and the captain summoned his best player and said, ‘I want you to take
this one, Patrick. Just think hard as you kick -think which way the wind is
blowing, and think which direction the keeper’s going to jump.’
‘Holy Mother!’ said Patrick. ‘Do you expect me to think and kick at the same
time?’