God is sitting up in his ivory tower, tired and worn out. he’s had enough of
the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he’s decided to take a
holiday. he calls all his super-being mates together to discuss a few
st. peter, thinking, nods his head, and then says, “how about mars? it’s nice
and warm there this time of year.” god shakes his head before answering, “nah i
went there 15,000 years ago. it was s***, no atmosphere and too dusty.”
“what about pluto?” suggests another? “no way!” god mutters. “i went there
10,000 years ago. f****** freezing it was too.”
“what about mercury?” says another? “are you kidding?” says god. “i went there
5,000 years ago, i nearly burnt me bollix off it was that hot, never again.”
“i’ve got it,” says st. peter, his face lighting up. “how about going down to
earth for your vacation?”

“you must be joking,” says god, chuckling, “i went there 2,000 years ago,
knocked up some jewish bird, and they’re still bloody talking about it.”