One day, Bill the duck hunter was out on the border of New South
Wales and Victoria shooting ducks. He was having a really good
day, he’d already bagged 6 or 7 ducks and a park ranger came up
to him.

“Did you realise that its not duck season in Victoria anymore
mate.” said the ranger.

“I shot these ducks in New South Wales!” Bill replied swiftly.

The ranger then said, “Thats irrelivant if the ducks are from
Victoria, throw me one of the ducks, im an expert and i’ll be
able to tell you if its from Victoria, or New South Wales.”

Bill, thinking that the Ranger was a bit of a goose, obliged and
threw him the first duck. The ranger then proceeded to part the
ducks tail feathers, and then jammed his index finger straight
up the ducks arse. He then sniffed his finger and called back,

“That one is ok, its from New South Wales, send me the second

Bill laughed and sent him the second duck purley out of
interest. The ranger did the same routine again, and when he
sniffed his finger, he called back,

“This duck is from Victoria, im going to have to report you.”

“You’re kidding aren’t you mate” said Bill “You can’t possibly
tell from that!”

“Trust me, im an expert” calls the ranger “Now, what was your

“Bill Smith”

“And where are you from Bill?”


“Richmond Victoria, or Richmond New South Wales?”

Bill then proceeded to un-do his belt, drop his daks, and
called back

“You’re the fucken expert, you tell me!”