Dog for Xmas

Little Johnny had a cursing problem and his father was getting tired of it.

He decided to ask his shrink what to do.

The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cursed he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.

Two days before Christmas Johnny’s dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, “I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fucking there beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning.

Then when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin’ train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin’ bike leaning up against the damn garage!”

Christmas morning Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit.

Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage.

When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his Dad smiled and asked, “So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?”

Johnny replied, “I think I got a goddamned dog but I can’t find the son of a bitch.”