A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey….

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he’s drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the
pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it

The bartender is livid and says to the guy, “Did you see what your monkey
just did?” “No. What did that stupid shit do this time?”, says the
“Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole”, says
the bartender. “Yeah, well I hope it kills the little fucker because he’s
driving me nuts”, says the patron. The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back in with the monkey. He orders a drink and
the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is
drinking his drink, the monkey finds a grape on the bar. He grabs the
grape, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender
is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “What
now?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a grape up his ass, then
pulled it out and ate it”, says the barkeeper.
“Well, what did you expect?”, replied the patron. “Ever since he ate
that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”