The Top 13 Questions Asked by Someone Who Just Awoke From a 19-Year Coma

13> “Is ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’ still playing at the drive-in?”

12> “Which way’s the bathroom?”

11> “You kept my Led Zeppelin 8-tracks, right?”

10> “What, you couldn’t cut my friggin’ hair *once* in 20 years?”

9> “Why is everyone so impressed that these morning DJs manage to talk strippers into taking their tops off?”

8> “Hey, nurse, where’s the beef? Ha! Isn’t that hysterical?”

7> “How’s our ally, Saddam Hussein, doing?”

6> “So Houston vs. St. Louis on ‘Monday Night Football’ — should I put my money on the Oilers or the Cardinals?”

5> “A red M&M?!? Are you trying to *poison* me?!?”

4> “Did anyone break my record Pac-Man score on the machine in the parachute pants store?”

3> “No shit? You can get Night Ranger to play at my birthday party?!?”

2> “Who’s that freaky pasty-faced white woman I saw on TV doing the dead-on impersonation of Michael Jackson?”

1> “Jeez, would somebody please tell that kid on MTV that his pants are about to fall off?”

[ The Top 5 List ]

[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]