Reasons to own a cat over a dog

* Cats rule. Dogs drool.* Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they’re horny.* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.* In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner’s choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.* Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won’t even let you throw them.* Cats let you kick them when you’re stressed out.* Cats will wait until you’ve read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.* Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.* No one has ever had to “Beware of the Cat.”* Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others’.* Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.* Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.* Why do you think they call it “Dog Breath?”* Garfield. Odie. Enough said.