Origin of Pets

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided
the answer to, “Where do pets come from?”

Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me
every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and
it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you
that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my
love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see
me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may
be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love
you as I do, in spite of yourself.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it
was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was
pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said,
“Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I
cannot think of a name for this new animal.”

And God said, “No problem! Because I have created this new
animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a
reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved
him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was
content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam’s guardian angel came
to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam has become filled with pride.
He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy
of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but
perhaps too well.”

And the Lord said, “No problem! I will create for him a
companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as
he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he
will know that he is not always worthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not
obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat’s eyes, he was reminded
that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.

And Adam was greatly improved.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.