Dog’s New Years Resolution

I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. I will not steal Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will stop trying to find the last remaining piece of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will keep the humans off my water bowl!