Camouflage training

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as
a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a
visiting general.

“You simpleton!” The officer barked. “Don’t you know that by
jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered
the lives of the entire company?”

“Yes sir,” the solder answered apologetically. “But, if I may
say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for
target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog
peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my
pants leg and I heard the bigger say, ‘Let’s eat one now and
save the other until winter’–that did it.”