Butcher money where your mouth is
A butcher in his shop, and he’s real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop.
He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over
to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it
reads, “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in
his mouth, as well.” The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten
dollar bill there.
So he takes the money, and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in
the dog’s mouth. The butcher is well impressed, and since it’s close to closing
time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is
walking down the street, when he comes to a level crossing. The dog puts down
the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth,
for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher
following him all the way.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The
butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on
one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around to the front,
looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog
goes and looks at the number, notices it’s the right bus, and climbs on. The
butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels through
the town and out into the suburbs, the dog looking at the scenery. Eventually he
gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes
the button to stop the bus.
Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth. Well, dog and butcher are
walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the
path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path,
takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He goes back down
the path, runs up to the door and -Whap!- throws himself against it again.
There’s no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on
a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden.
He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks
back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens
the door, and starts laying into the dog. Kicking him, punching him, and
swearing at him. The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. “What the hell are you
doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for Roc’s sake!”, to which the
guy responds “Clever, my eye. This is the second time this week that he’s
forgotten his key.”