Actual Signs (stupid though)

Here are some real signs found across America.

At a Florida maternity ward:
No Children Allowed

At a Santa Fe gas station:
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

At a radiator-repair garage:
Best place to take a leak.

At a Maine shop:
Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices
and workmanship.

In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their
own graves.

At many military bases:
Restricted to unauthorized personnel.

At a long-established New Mexico dry cleaner:
38 years on the same spot.

In the offices of a loan company:
Ask about our plans for owning your home.

On a New York convalescent home:
For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

In a funeral parlor:
Ask about our layaway plan.

In a Maine restaurant:
Open 7 days a week and weekends.

In the vestry of a New England church:
Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual
light is extinguished.

At a Los Angeles dance hall:
Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

On a shopping mall marquee:
Archery tournament—ears peirced.

In a clothing store:
Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

On a roller-coaster:
Watch your head.

On a Tennesee highway:
When this sign is under water, this road is impassible.