A Bloody Vampire Bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered
in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get
some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began
hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and
let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave
in.

OK, follow me, he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of
bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river
and into a huge forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all
the other bats excitedly milled around him tongues hanging out
for blood.

“Do you see that large oak tree over there?” he asked. “YES,
YES, YES!!!!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good!” said
the first bat, “Because I fucking didn’t”